Sunday, October 01, 2006
Favouritism.....
My mom favours my younger brother....
even when she is sick.....
and i hate it very much....
i do.....
and it hurts when you are the one handling everything in the family.....all the paperwork and stuff...... and you will get scolded if you do not know how to handle the medicine......
it sucks when my brother doesnt really seem to bother at all and he gets the credit....
it sucks even more when you are trying to carry on your life pretending to be unaffected.... when you really are affected.......
it sucks when you are the eldest and you feel lost most of the time.....
it doesnt make me feel better when i am pretending to smile even when i am hurting inside....
it does no good....
somehow... everything i do and stuff seems invisible.....
sometimes.... i would wept....
other times....i will move on....
i have somehow morphed into this emotionless bitch....
who treat everything that comes along like nothing......
i do question why when i was younger....
somehow i stopped as i grew older...
i am losing my radiance......
whats the point ??
to them....
i am just a nobody......
cause my brother is the star........
and seriously i hate it...........
thats why i seek for shelter outside my house....
its where i find me again....
i cannot be the responsible one most of the time.......
i need a time out too.....
i am a strong girl i know........
but sometimes i am vulnerable too....
i have my weak times....
its just that you dont see it......
i need air....
i need space.....
which are all lacking in my house.....
i am look real cheerful...
but i am not.....
tillthen
