Wednesday, November 01, 2006
sometimes.....your day is so bad....... that you just wanna scream and wished that nothing of such shit is happening to you......
i am really not okay.....
but somehow the tears are not running down as they should be.....
why ?
i am not cold blooded......
but i really do not know why......
i am not immune.....
but i cant figured out why i cant seem to cry.....
mom's lungs are failing....
doc didnt placed too much hope in her......
i really hope that she can last till next year......
could you just at least let me past this year ???
sometimes....
i do think that some things experienced by other people are real trivial as compared to what i am going through.......
they dont have to worry about school fees... i do......
they dont have to worry about being loaded with responsibilities.... i do......
they dont have to care about anything in the world except for their own lives...... i do have to care about other peoples' lives and mine.....
they dont have to care about losing their mom..... i do......
i am dying inside and i am bleeding profusely..... and i cant stop it........
maybe i am a pollyannaish ?? overly optimistic.....too overly ??
maybe a pseudo pessimist....pretending to wear a wide smile everyday.....
he said:
dont shoulder everything yourself yah... afterall your shoulders aint that big.... i am just a phone call away... and i have got a shoulder big enough for your heavy head.....
thanx boy....
tillthen
